“Shia LaBeouf” Live – Rob Cantor

“Shia LaBeouf” Live – Rob Cantor


You’re walking in the woods There’s no one around and your phone is dead Out of the corner of your eye, you spot him Shia LaBeouf He’s following you about thirty feet back He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint He’s gaining on you Shia LaBeouf You’re looking for your car but you’re all turned around He’s almost upon you now, and you can see… There’s blood on his face My God, there’s blood everywhere! Running for your life from Shia LaBeouf He’s brandishing a knife, it’s Shia LaBeouf Lurking in the shadows Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf Living in the woods (Shia LaBeouf) Killing for sport (Shia LaBeouf) Eating all the bodies Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf Now it’s dark, and you seem to have lost him But you’re hopelessly lost yourself Stranded with a murderer You creep silently through the underbrush Aha! In the distance, a small cottage with a light on – hope! You move stealthily toward it… But your leg! Ah! It’s caught in a bear trap! Gnawing off your leg (quiet, quiet) Limping to the cottage (quiet, quiet) Now you’re on the doorstep Sitting inside, Shia LaBeouf Sharpening an axe (Shia LaBeouf) But he doesn’t hear you enter (Shia LaBeouf) You’re sneaking up behind him Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf Stab it in his kidney Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf You limp into the dark woods Blood oozing from your stump leg You’ve beaten Shia LaBeouf Wait! He isn’t dead! Shia surprise! There’s a gun to your head and death in his eyes But you can do Jiu Jitsu Body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf You try to swing an axe at Shia LaBeouf But blood is draining fast from your stump leg He’s dodging every swipe, he parries to the left You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck You’re chopping off his head now You have just decapitated Shia LaBeouf His head topples to the floor, expressionless You fall to your knees and catch your breath You’re finally safe from Shia LaBeouf

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  1. This song served as inspiration for the plot of a children's story I had to write for my French final, I am eternally grateful to it.

    Shia surprise! Somehow I got 100% on it

  2. Came here from watching Shia Labeouf on Ellen …and him eating a Ghost Pepper…and telling her ..'People think I'm a cannibal!'

  3. You're walking in the woods
    There's no one around and your phone is dead
    Out of the corner of your eye you spot him:
    Shia LaBeouf.

    He's following you, about 30 feet back
    He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint
    He's gaining on you
    Shia LaBeouf

    You're looking for you car but you're all turned around
    He's almost upon you now
    and you can see there's blood on his face
    My God, there's blood everywhere!

    Running for you life (from Shia LaBeouf)
    He's brandishing a knife (It's Shia LaBeouf)
    Lurking in the shadows
    Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf

    Living in the woods (Shia LaBeouf)
    Killing for sport (Shia LaBeouf)
    Eating all the bodies
    Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf

    Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him
    but you're hopelessly lost yourself
    Stranded with a murderer
    you creep silently through the underbrush

    Aha! In the distance
    A small cottage with a light on
    Hope! You move stealthily toward it
    but your leg! Ah! It's caught in a bear trap!

    Gnawing off your leg (Quiet, quiet)
    Limping to the cottage (Quiet, quiet)
    Now you're on the doorstep
    Sitting inside: Shia LaBeouf

    Sharpening an axe (Shia LaBeouf)
    But he doesn't hear you enter (Shia LaBeouf)
    You're sneaking up behind him
    Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf

    Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf
    Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf
    Stab him in his kidney
    Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf

    You limp into the dark woods
    blood oozing from your stump leg
    But you have won; you have beaten
    Shia LaBeouf

    Wait! He isn't dead (Shia surprise)
    There's a gun to your head and death in his eyes
    But you can do Jis Jitsu

    Body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf
    Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf
    Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf
    You try to swing an axe at Shia Labeouf

    But blood is draining fast from your stump leg
    He's dodging every swipe, he parries to the left
    You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck
    You're chopping his head now
    You have just decapitated Shia Labeouf

    His head Topples to the floor, expressionless
    You fall to your knees and catch your breath
    You're finally safe from Shia Labeouf …

  4. The dancers are very talented and the choreography is totally ludicrous, especially @ 1:06. The whole thing, artistically speaking, is like watching a train wreck, but it's the Orient Express.

  5. one of the things that makes the cake on this is "featuring the gay mens chorus of los angelos" like i did a double take

  6. The sheer amount of resources allocated to make this video happen is a reason I love the internet so much. They got 2 choirs, choreography dancers, an entire auditorium, lighting crew, camera crew, props, and actual Shia Labeouf to rehearse, and perform this masterpiece for no reason other than that it'd be awesomely hilarious.

  7. This video is an absolute classic. Honestly there is nothing that can be improved but Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself.

  8. I didn't like Shia Labeouf at all in any movie or role . . . until this song. I'd put up with thirty Transformer movies for the price of this.

  9. "Normal TuesdayNight for Shia LaBeouf" ah, okay, good to know he gets decapitated on a weekly basis. I'm sure he'll be fine.

  10. I struggle with existential depression, it runs in my moms side of the family. Everyday I feel drained and tired of it all. This video, however, for some reason makes me feel a small bit of hope. Maybe I should stay here a bit longer, make my own Shia LaBeouf.

  11. "So was this… like their religion?"
    "no, we beleive it was a cult that formed around that time period. we found many records of inspirational texts and photographs mentioning his name."

  12. Shia's getting all the attention for this, but the protagonist was able to beat him twice (doing jiu jitsu!) with one leg and blood pouring out of his uncauterised stump. I want to know more about THAT guy.

  13. My friend used to ask the DJ at the strip club to play it and as a gay man who built a relationship with the shot girls etc I found it endlessly hilarious xD

  14. You're walking in the woods
    There's no one around and your phone is dead
    Out of the corner of your eye you spot him:
    Shia LaBeouf

    He's following you, about 30 feet back
    He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint
    He's gaining on you!
    Shia LaBeouf
    You're looking for your car but you're all turned around
    He's almost upon you now
    and you can see there's blood on his face
    My God, there's blood everywhere!

    Running for your life (from Shia LaBeouf)
    He's brandishing a knife (It's Shia LaBeouf)
    Lurking in the shadows
    Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf!
    Living in the woods (Shia LaBeouf)
    Killing for sport (Shia LaBeouf)
    Eating all the bodies
    Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf

    Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him
    but you're hopelessly lost yourself
    Stranded with a murderer
    you creep silently through the underbrush
    Aha! In the distance
    A small cottage with a light on
    Hope! You move stealthily toward it
    but your leg! Ah! It's caught in a bear trap!

    Gnawing off your leg (Quiet, quiet)
    Limping to the cottage (Quiet, quiet)
    Now you're on the doorstep
    Sitting inside: Shia LaBeouf
    Sharpening an axe (Shia LaBeouf)
    But he doesn't hear you enter (Shia LaBeouf)
    You're sneaking up behind him
    Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf!

    Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf
    Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf
    Stab him in his kidney
    Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf
    You limp into the dark woods
    blood oozing from your stump leg
    But you have won; you have beaten
    Shia LaBeouf…

    Wait! He isn't dead (Shia surprise)!
    There's a gun to your head and death in his eyes
    But you can do Jiu Jitsu
    Body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf

    Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf
    Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf
    You try to swing an axe at Shia Labeouf
    But blood is draining fast from your stump leg

    He's dodging every swipe, he parries to the left
    You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck
    You're chopping off his head now!
    You have just decapitated Shia Labeouf!

    His head topples to the floor, expressionless
    You fall to your knees and catch your breath
    You're finally safe from Shia Labeouf…

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