TOP O’ THE MORNIN’ TO YA LADDIES MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE And welcome to Minecraft. I know, What everyone’s thinkin’ right now. Everyone’s playing Minecraft right now, And Full disclosure: I am.. actually playing this because Felix (PewDiePie) has been playing it. Because talkin’ to Felix about this game in like…spare time He is so genuinely enthusiastic about Minecraft that it made me wanna play it. Minecraft is actually something, I know I gave it a bad rep before I said was never gonna play it, But it’s actually something I’ve always kinda wanted to play I tried getting into it years ago, but too many people already knew absolutely everything about the game And when I thought about doing it everyone was like “No you don’t know what you’re doing” and everyone was… Whatever So, now seems like a great time to play Minecraft Cause I am absolutely unknowledgeable *chuckles* about Minecraft I literally have no idea what to do in this game. I’ve never played it… properly I’ve never actually got into survival mode, and gone through it. And I LOVE survival games, and I’ve played so many survival games on the channel But I’ve never played the ULTIMATE survival game. So, I wanna give it a shot. Ermm And it honestly just looks fun. I’ve been playing a lot of dragon quest builders 2 on my spare time And that’s basically Minecraft and I’ve been having a great time with it! So I wanna, I wanna get into it I wanna see what all the ‘buzz’ is about Soo.. Please forgive me, I’m not even going to know how to flick switches in this game. I am a complete noob about this. But we’ll go on this journey together and we’ll create a world together and you guys can give me some tips. So let’s create a world, uh game mode survival yes. What should I call it? umm…Should I just make Ireland *laughs* Uhh “The Emerald Isle” There we go. Uhh Create new world Ok! Who knows how this is gonna go? Who knows what’s gonna happen? But I’m genuinely excited about this. Wow! Minecraft everybody we’re doing it! I’m – I’m seriously playing Minecraft. On my YouTube channel. In 2019. I never thought the day would come. I never thought I would ever actually play this game seriously. There’s a pig! There’s multiple pigs! Hi! Can you be my friend? Ok, turn your back on me. “Destroy the tree: hold down left button” Oh, it actually tells you what to do. *light thuds* Ok I need something better to chop down trees. Ahh now I can make everything. A crafting table Yes! I don’t know much about Minecraft but I know you need a crafting table They’re ginger! They – They’re perfect for the Emerald Isle. Just don’t stay out in the sun too long or your skin will burn. Um, alright should I put down my crafting table? I don’t know if I should put it in a specific place. Or maybe I’ll put it out on the island? Is that a terrible idea? This music is great! Ok how do I – oh god that did not – that did not go the way I wanted it to. Ok I’m gonna need a lot more of this. See it’s cause I was punching a tree. Trees are hard. Trees are made out of wood! Minecraft can teach us a lot. About the world, around us. This music is awesome man! I’m gonna be a little scallywag and I’m gonna build out to here. Not because I think it’s a good idea but because I can. And it’s Minecraft! I can build whatever I want! The world is my oyster! Can you build? Don’t drown though, that would be terrible for everybody I don’t want to start off the series dead. Sweet! Ok now I’m out here, I’ve got a little bridge. I don’t know if this is a good idea to put my stuff out here. But I basically want to build my own little island. I want to build my own little Ireland out here. Ireland. Island. It’s very confusing, especially with an Irish accent. *chuckles* Um, but how do I put my crafting table? *softly* right here boom Ok, new crafting recipes *gasp* I can make a boat! Oh what do I need? Dark Oak planks. Ok let’s make some, some dark oak planks How do I make those? How do I do anything in Minecraft?? I made a stick! Where did the awesome music go? Hello fish! Ok I need some rocks, I need a handle Or I have the handle for my axe but I need- I need something else for it I need something to – I need the smashy part, I need the stabby part. Pumpkins? See you’ll have to uh forgive me for not knowing that these were pumpkins because they’re cubes. Oh god I’m gonna be here all day. It’s ok! You get some rocks at the start, so that you can get more rocks later on. That didn’t do anything… Did I, did I not get anything? Is that not how this works? Well shit, man! Ok I can’t do a whole lot right now, or maybe I can and I’m just not..aware of it. *Legend of Zelda opening chest sound* Aw I can! Oh yeah I have to right click on the bench to actually do anything with it *laughs* Oh we’re in for a long one boys. Uh, ok so a wooden sword, a wooden hoe. Ok that’s rude. Oh God *zombie moans* Hi! Oh are you one of those Minecrafts? That – Dude that’s a hecking Minecraft right there! Kill him! Kill him dead! *small gasp* Yes! Guys I got my first minecraft kill. This is awesome! OW! God oh there’s a skellymans! Jesus! And there’s spiders. God, minecraft fucking sucks Everything wants to kill me! I thought this was happy wholesome hour. Ok, Im – Imma go this way, don’t follow me to Ireland. Oh they’re following me to Ireland. You need to die. Everything here needs to die. Spiders can’t swim. I’ve – I’ve drowned a couple of spiders in my time I know you can’t swim. Minecraft is a liar. Maybe that’s why everyone likes it. Ok nice! I’m a veteran murderer in this game. Uhhh I need to make, one of dem special boys. I need ooo a bow Uh-Oh hold on guys. I need to get a victory royale. Hup Ok, I’m- I’m actually gonna die if I’m not careful. Ah-ha one of you is in the pit! *Goofy Yell* welp he’s dead *laughs* Whaaaaat??? *suspenseful sound cue* There was a gigantic hole like that right here and I almost fell into it many times? God that’s scary. Minecraft is a scary vidogame. Oh come on! I’m gonna knock you into the hole. Fall in the hole. Bye! *laughs* Oh god that’s terrifying! It’s a pit of danger. Oh shit it’s creepers *suspenseful music kicks up* uh-oh, I – I know enough from the internet to know that – that’s bad news bears right there. Um ok, maybe I need to…maybe I need to be smarter about this boom ok…I need to – I need to break off some land. I need fortifications. Uh-oh. Uh-oh I ate rotten flesh. Can I – can I eat the pumpkins I got? I don’t want a pumpkin pie I just want to eat raw pumpkin. Can I? I can’t eat raw pumpkin. Ok well I’m a zom- AH JESUS! OH! OH NO! THE PIT! *echoed scream* Minecraft..is..terrifying! No one told me that this was a scary game. uh-oh. Uh-Oh. Creepys! Creepys! Jesus! Ok I need to get back my items and now they’re all at the bottom of a hole. *screams* God! Nooo! Jesus Creepers! Is my, is my stuff down there now or is it all gone cause I died twice? It’s all gone isn’t it? Damn I was making *snaps* making so much progress now I have nothing. I have arrows stuck in me. Can I, can I…requisition them for something? Ok come up here. Yup. Ow! oh god Oh god! Why does everything want to kill me?? You stay back there. Stay back there where you belong. I knew not to go outside during nighttime in Minecraft but this is ridiculous! This is – this is way scarier than anyone prepared me for. Ok I’m building like a fortress. Ow! Alrights. Maybe building a little island out here in the middle of everything was not the best idea. But what was I suppose to – I was so young and foolish. I wonder how I can get down to my stuff. I don’t think my stuff is down there anymore. I think my stuff is long gone. I think it’s time to start over. Start over with a new life. Can you guys just die already? Not to get like super violent or anything but I really wish you guys would die. Ok, Imma build a chest. Build a chest and put it right here. Cause at least now…I can put my stuff IN the chest. So that I will not lose it, I kinda need these sticks. I don’t need bones I don’t really need string. But you know what I’m gonna keep them, just in case I need them later on. A spruce door, let’s maybe start building like a little fortification shall we? Because… my ass was almost grass that time. I almost died. Story time: I almost died in minecraft. Almost though, I didn’t die. Not-not a single time. I’m eating my own beard hair though. *laughs* Now that I have a pickaxe can I get some stone? That mi- that might help a lot more. To have stone weapons. Oh yes Oh I’m at the stone age! I’m advancing at an incredible rate because me have big smart brain. Big smart high IQ brain. Everybody else been playing minecraft dumb brain. Dumb small IQ Me been having big one. Aha! Stone Axe. Boom baby! Ok uhhh what else do I need? I need a stone – maybe I should get a stone sword? I..have..a sword now! And you should all fear me for the fearsome warrior that I am! ok you go in there, thank you. Uh can I make a stone…stone…pickaxe! Guys, I’ve only heard these terms before. I’ve only heard the stones stuff, as people were talking about Minecraft before. Like stone pickaxe, diamond pickaxe, all that kind of stuff. But now I’m doing it, now I’m part of it. This is actually genuinely fun! Why have I never played Minecraft before? I feel like there was a lot of pressure to play Minecraft a while back. Well everyone was playing it so I didn’t just want to play just cause everybody else was playing it. Here I am now, playing it because everyone else is playing it. But I felt like everybody else knew a whole lot about the game and I knew nothing, and people were unwilling to teach me because they were just like, “Nah you don’t know. Imma watch somebody else who knows” Now I think it’s fine. And now I just wanna have fun, I just wanna play games, man I just wanna play video games and have a good time. Its all I’ve ever wanted to do. Gimme all that stone! I’mma make a little house! I-I might have gone a little overboard but we-we’ll see if we actually Need all of this. I-I’m building like a little wall. I probably should not be wasting my stuff building the wall down there. UUUHHHMMMM *Chest opens* I had, earth. I use earth as a base! Earth is the base of everything guys! Guess what? What you’re standing on right now? Earth. Where – Where you go to school everyday? That’s Earth baby Earth is the key to it all. Can they break through this and get to me? We’re about to find out on this episode of: Jacksepticeye doesn’t know what he’s doing. There’s a lot of episodes to that show Look at it go, look at my little wall! Uh-oh This is just a temporary state of things guys. uhoh Ok there’s a wall all the way around my little thing now. Hopefully that means, nobody is gonna come and DESTROY me like they did last time. I can only hope though, cause I-I don’t really know what’s happening. I can’t even jump out over this and that’s – that’s probably more important cause now I”m saving myself from myself, I can’t even fall into the hole anymore, which is wonderful. That hole…it killed me more times that I – it killed me once which is way more times than it should have. I see you creeper! Can I put a little door..on my little boy ? Yeah! Sweet! Nice! Doesn’t look great yet, it’s a fixer-upper Imma flip this.. ..bitch *laughs* No, it’s Minecraft! I’m not allowed swore! Ummm See I could have built a spruce fence and spruce up the place but I preferred stony walls. The Irish have been building stuff out of stone for centuries. That’s why we have a lot of castles. Um…so, I’m going to… Imma – I’m just gonna put a door right there Alright I’m gonna put some stuff away And now all I risk is losing my weaponry and my dignity. Close the door because you know I’m not born in a field Actually fields have fences and gates, so that – that analogy doesn’t really apply at all, I don’t know why people say that. Ok *suspenseful music kicks up again* Damnit! Jesus Christ there’s enemies everywhere I’m behind enemy lines guys Ow Ok I – I didn’t see the creeper. Got my stuff back baby Ok it’s all messed up though, who put my inventory like this? Was it a creeper? Wait – oh I did get my sword. Wait. No, pick that up I need… more wood and stone Can people leave me alone? I’m just a nice little Irishman trying to live out my life in Minecraft Trying to build the life that I never had Uh-Oh Ah I can change the – ok I feel dumb I can change the buttons. Now I’m not auto-jumping over everything cause that was real annoying. Now I can just hold sprint to run. Ohh now it’s like every other video game No, Minecraft is a unique special child and we all love it for what it is. Where’s my stuff? I died somewhere here where’s my stuff? God I’m gonna die again! Oh God! Get out of my way! My stuff is right here! Ok ok I keep getting my stuff and dying again. They can keep knocking me down and keep fighting me but I’m gonna get back up! I’m gonna rise like the phoenix every single time. Alright, I think that I need to redo this wall. It’s just not really catching me you know? Hmm I built a furnace.. What do you allow me to do? Uhh alright you’re gonna smelt some stuff? I don’t know what this does. I can make a boat! I don’t even know if that’s useful but imma make a dang boat. Ooooo! Can I get – Can I get in my boat? Hey hey! Look at me go! (singing) Deja Vu! I just been in this place before! Higher on the streets Okay. how do – how do I get out? Can I – Can – Can I – ah okay that one. Left control of course. Dudes, Minecraft is awesome! Cows! Hi! Can I pet you? Can I pet the cows? Wait can I pet anything in Minecraft? *Cow moos* How do I holster things? Pet. Let’s just pretend I’m petting the cow and now he’s happy and content with his life. You’re welcome cow! Let’s be best friends forever I’m headin’ back before- oh god I’m headin’ back before I completely forget how I actually got here- What’s in the water? Are those dogs?! Alright, get off here – and I forgot to put a door down That’s a door alright, it works! Alright- let’s make our wall a little bigger This doesn’t really feel like a home. I’ll build a home later , this is more of a fortress , so- this is more of a not-die area Cause I- I have a serious case of dying in this game. That I’m- *sigh* I’m – I’m honestly not very proud of, guys. oo – I got iron ore?! That’s what that stuff was? Hell yeah! I mean, heck yeah! Minecraft- sorry Can I make like, iron stuff now? Buddy- Imma progress to the iron age in no time! I went from stone to metalwork I also need a better way of getting food cause now I feel bad for killing the pigs *chuckles* Should I – should I have my own lil farm of chickens and eggs? Imma have to go search for some chickens *slurs* search for some chickens call one of them Reginald cause I – it’s a cute name for a chicken. You can deny it all you want but you know its true. Love him or hate him but he’s spittin straight facts. I was saying that with Felix yesterday I think a good meme of that is- driving along in your car and your GPS is like “turn left” it’s like, “like- like him or hate him, spittin straight facts” umm, okey, wall-y walls *imitates clicks* duhduhduhduhdoh see, I figured that out. EPIC minecrafter Okay, Now I feel a little safer sittin’ in my little Irish castle that I’ve built for myself Now, I know what you’re thinkin’ “Sean, this area is a disaster because it’s different colors” and, you know what, you’d be right, so that’s why I’m changing it I – I listen , okay? I’m listening to the people, I’m listening to your feedback, live. I have a live feed for the…future comments Uhh, alright, which one is this? Alright it’s about to become nighttime again. I – I kinda need food… before that happens. If I don’t eat then I can’t build the new world. The new Ireland, the New and Improved Ireland. *gasp* I hear pig! oink oink? squeaker squeak? oh-ho-ho, PIGGY! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!*pig squeals* I didn’t mean to! Okay? At least I’m using the meat! It’s not murder! It’s kinda murder. It’s murder for my own gain. But ya… can’t make a few omelettes if ya don’t break a few pigs! Ah, I put the porkchop in with wood! Now – that actually makes a ton of sense. If ya put wood in, it burns with it. Yeah that – that makes a lot of sense. I – I appreciate that now Um, okay, let’s eat my porkchop *munching sfx* Aww hell yeah! das what I’m talkin ’bout! Aha! I have bested you, game! I know ALL the secrets now. Can I make some windows? Is that something I can do? sand and… wood that’s how ya make a window See that over there? No! Cuz it’s… off camera but that’s a window! That’s how ya make the windows. Okay, put all the sand in. Make a lot of windows. Cause I – I have big plans. Well that’s – that’s just glass, but I – I’m just gonna call it window GOD this is slow So this is all well and good. This- this wall, this fortification. But I – I can’t see anything so can I just – yeah Yeah! That looks absolutely ridiculous cause these are not squares. Cubes! Sorry! it’s Minecraft not..Squarecraft. Doesn’t make any sense *laughs* What else can I build? Can I build a world? Ooh I could’ve made a glass pane Dammit! I need to put up some of these. How – How do I oh Can I not put them on the – can I put them on the wall? I can put them on the windows?! I can’t put them on my wall? I need to re-do this, I need to make stone walls. Not – not these things but like, cubes. Strong boys. Alright imma just put these in the corners anyways. I need light in here, it’s very dark. My – my place is being tested. Yes, it works! *zombie growls and gurgles* You guys can try and get in all you want! See this is why I made the windows, so I can see out and laugh at them. *zombie growls* Hahaha! You can’t get in here you fricken zomboid! This is my home, *zombie growl* I built this! Just don’t attract any creepers though, cause they’ll explode my shit and I don’t want that. *zombie moan* I’ll make some iron ingots, I wanna see what they do. Do I get new recipes if I make them? *zombie moans* Yes! Okay, can I make iron stuff now – iron axe? Yeah buddy! *zombie gurgle* Progressing nicely, the world is a lovely place. Aha! Yeah, look at me! *zombie growl and gurgle* I mean, it’s nothing crazy, I – all I did was put a helmet on, but now I’m gonna be safer. *zombie moan* Now people aren’t gonna kill me cause they have to go through my armor first. I don’t – I don’t plan on dying in this game again. *zombie moan* It’s never gonna happen. Oh! Lemme help *zombie gurgles* AH I’M ON FIRE! That almost turned into a disaster. What’s over here? I saw somethin’ in the walls. I want this. Not you. You! You coal? I dunno I think that’s coal Sweet! That’s… a pickaxe, not an axe. Pickaxe for da ground. Axe for da tree. Me big brain. Me big brain, high IQ, you small brain. whoa Minecraft has current physics? What the hell. I didn’t know that. That’s pretty cool. Alright I’m takin’ up all of this sand and I’m gonna replace it with earth, but I need the sand to make glass. now my place is gonna look super dope! Oh shit, wait. This – this makes sixteen? Thas a lot! yuhhh, that’s a lot. Oh. That’s wrong. how do I- how do I- how- oh- what? I dunno how this works This is – this is very confusing. eugh Well that doesn’t look good, now does it? That’s terrible. That’s better, okay. I see how it works now. you got – okay, you gotta do the cookin’ by the book Figured it out. Can’t put that there anymore, so now I gotta do this. There we go. Okay, got it, got it, okay! Much nicer! Kinda, not really. Alright! I’m gonna leave this EPIC first episode of Minecraft here. I still have a lot to learn, but I’m excited. I’m – I genuinely really like this, I can’t wait to play more of this. I think I’m gonna get really sucked in. I – it still baffles me Why I’ve never played this it’s so much fun! It’s also way scarier than I was expecting it to be. Everything’s tryna kill me all the time, but I learn as I go, and I’ll make an epic fort. This is not even its final form. I will create Ireland. I’ll create all of Ireland, and I’ll put many castles in it and I’ll fortify everything and be the strongest Gaelic man in all of existence. But for now, I’m gonna leave this episode here. I hope that no creepers crawl into your bedroom, and explode your entire life. outro “I am everywhere” by Texknoaxe Now I can do this! Haha!