“Cultural Names” | Russell Peters – Outsourced

>>Russell Peters: I like cultural names. Cultural names are really cool, you know? I don’t have a cultural name– and Indian people, for some reason, have real tough time with this, but my real name is Russell Peters. [Some audience members boo] Both of my parents are from India, and that’s the name they gave me. Russell Dominic– [Audience members still booing] Look at you dumb motherfuckers right there! [Laughter] Do you know Indian history at all? At all?! None, you don’t. You know why? I can tell he doesn’t know Indian history. The British were there, for 400 years. You don’t think they fucked one or two of us? [Laughter and Applause] If they could steal all our jewelry, they could bang one or two us! [Laughter] That’s my real name. Both of my parents are from India, and they named me, “Russell Dominic Peters.” “Dominic-” I’ve got an Italian middle name– [Laughter] ‘Cause my parents are from that Italian part of India– [Laughter] “Calcutta.” You know, that part there. [Laughter] That’s it. You have a problem with my name? Talk to my parents, Eric and Maureen. [Laughter] And my brother, Julio. [Laughter] If I had an Indian name, I’d wear it proudly, you know what I mean? I don’t have one! If I had it, I would rock it, very proudly. [To audience member] What’s your name, mister India, over there? [Laughter]>>Man off screen: “Anit”>>Russell: Sorry?>>Man off screen: “Anit”>>Russell: Anit? See, that’s “a neat” name! [Laughter and Clapping] [Indian accent] “Anit!” “Anit!”>>Anit: “Patel!”>>Russell: Patel! Nice. [Laughter and Clapping] Jose, that’s the equivalent, right there, that’s uhm– [Laughter] [Indian accent] “Anit Patel–” “that’s my brother, A Messy Patel,” [Laughter] “That’s my big brother, A Slob.” [Laughter and Clapping] [Laughter continues] [To Anit] Do you know what your name means?>>Anit: Nope.>>Russell: Nope. So sure that this wasn’t my name, but has no clue what your name means. I don’t know what your name means, either. I know what my name means. “Russell” It sucks, you know what it means? “To make a noise.” [Laughter] It’s uhm– It’s a shit name, it’s a shit joke. What do you want? [Laughter] I like the Indian names. I think– I think the Indian name’s are very cool, they have deep meanings to them, they have long history behind them– [To audience member] What’s your name, my little Sikh brother right there? What’s your name?>>Man: “Prabhjot”>>Russell: Sorry?>>Man: “Prabhjot”>>Russell: “Prab–” “jote” Not “Prabh-chode,” right? ‘Cause that– that would just be rude, I guess, at that point, wouldn’t it? [Laughter] That would make his name “Prabh-fuck,” that’s what his name would’ve been. [Laughter] “Prabhjot!” [Angry Indian accent] “Prabhjot! What are you doing?” That’s a good, solid Indian name, you know? I like the Indian names! [To Prabhjot] You know what your name means?>>Prabhjot, off screen: Yeah. [To Anit] See, he knows what his name means! [Laughter] Okay, “Anit!” [Laughter and Clapping] [To Prabhjot] What does it mean, Prab?>>Prabhjot: It means, “God’s essence.” [Russell chuckling] “God’s essence.” [Laughter] Goddamn! [Laughter and Clapping] What’s your sister’s name? “Herbal Essence?” [Laughter and Applause] “Your sister smells great!” [Laughter] [Indian accent] “That’s just Herbal–” [Laughter] “Herbal-Jot” [Laughter and Clapping] [Laughter continues] God’s essence – That’s dope man! I like the Indian names– I think a lot of Indian names are really cool, but– I think a lot of cultural names are cool, but if you’re gonna be– If you’re gonna have a cultural name, and you’re gonna move from another country, to America, think about what that name means, in English, before you move here, you know what I mean? Think about how it’s gonna affect your life. ‘Cause some Indian names are really good, some Indian names are really cool, and they mean a lot, but they’re really good, in India. When they come here with those names, it just doesn’t cross over, very well. I met an Indian dude, and you know this is a real name, ’cause he was one of your people. Uhm– I met an Indian guy, I swear to God, his real name was, “Sukhdeep.” [Laughter continues] Suck deep! [Laughter continues] Could you imagine living your life, with a name like, “Suck deep?!” [Laughter] Somebody’s looking for you one day, [Thug voice] “Ay yo, man,” “you suck deep?” [Laughter and Clapping] [Indian accent] “Well, sometimes, if I have to. I– [Laughter] don’t really like it, though.” [Laughter continues] And obviously, it’s not pronounced, “suck deep,” in my culture, you what I mean, but if you were to read it, that’s how you’d read it. It’s spelled “S U K H D E E P” The “H” doesn’t help [Laughter] ‘Cause now it sounds even worse, “suck HUH deep.” [Laughter] “Come here, suck HUH deep!” [Laughter] And I used to think Sukhdeep was like, the funniest Indian name I’d ever heard, and then a few months ago, I was in DC, and I met this Indian dude, and I shit you not, the guy’s real name was, “Hardik.” [Laughter] “H A R D I K” Hard dick! [Laughter] Who the hell names their kid. “Hard Dick?!” [Laughter] [Indian accent] “Hey come on, Hard Dick, pull up your pants, stop that! It’s not nice. [Laughter and Clapping] ♪♪

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