Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue – Phelous

Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue – Phelous

To celebrate the 10th anniversary of Phelous and the Movies, I’m gonna cover what really might be the most ambitious crossover event in history… at least as far as getting all these different franchises involved. Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue! ♪ [“Wonderful Ways to Say No”] ♪ There’s a lot of things said about Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue, but you gotta give it the fact that it really did stick in the minds of most of the kids that saw it back in the day. Maybe… not for the reasons the creators really wanted, but it was hard to forget a crossover of most of the popular cartoon series from the time. Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue aired in 1990 on a lot of the major networks in at least nine different countries. The VHS tape came out around the same time and was SUPPOSED to be a free rental, though I definitely recall places that were still charging regular rental fees for it. Which is especially funny, given the fact that it says right on the side of the box that it’s supposed to be free. I bet some places put a sticker over that. The first time I recall seeing Cartoon All-Stars was during school, which was kinda like, yeah, well, they’re trying to teach me something, but this is still getting to watch cartoons during class! And not just some cheapie crap cartoons, these are characters you actually wanted to see! This special was financed by McDonald’s and the Ronald McDonald Children’s Charities, which is why a commercial for the organization featuring some kids singing “Love Lifted Me” is on the tape. Not just one time, either; it plays at the beginning and during a weird break in the ending credits. Like, the credit roll seems like it’s over, then the ad plays again, and then more credits. WHICH I’M REALLY UPSET ABOUT!! …Or not. I guess it’s not that big a deal. This was a pretty big deal getting all these different properties together in one special, though. This required getting the rights from nine different license holders to have the cast they used in Cartoon All-Stars. And while we have gotten crossovers with SOME of these properties again, like in the TMNT/Ghostbusters comic, there’s no Garfield in there, and I kinda doubt these three will ever crossover again. But it’s getting to see some of these kind of unlikely characters joined together on something that makes it really hard for me to hate this special. Like, I don’t think there’s gonna be any other time where ALF annoys Bugs Bunny while Tigger watches. Or Michelangelo dancing around with Louie, Dewey, and Huey. Or Dewey trying to run over a kid in a roller coaster, making him fall by an evil Huey-themed ride! And then him falling down a drain, which leads to a straw from Miss Piggy. Man, how do they come up with this stuff? Cybil (from Silent Hill): Must be on drugs. Phelous: Well……. I do find it rather interesting that there’s never been another crossover like this attempted. Maybe it’s kinda messy behind the scenes bringing all this together. So from Disney, we had Winnie the Pooh, Tigger, Huey, Dewey, and Louie. Apparently, though, Scrooge’s nephews were originally gonna be Mickey Mouse, Donald, and Goofy. But I guess Disney wouldn’t want THOSE characters involved in a silly crossover with anything. It seems likely, though, that Disney at the time decided they shouldn’t put their A-list characters in this drug special. That’s why we got the ducks instead. Even though Roy Edward Disney was the executive producer on this, and the tape was distributed by Disney’s distribution division, Buena Vista. And the VHS tapes themselves were apparently provided by Kodak, which is the best thing they’ve done since the Kolorkins! Early ’90s ad: Meet the Kodak Kolorkins toys. Get them free by mail when you buy these Kodak products. Phelous: Anyway, we also have the Muppet Babies versions of Kermit, Miss Piggy, and Gonzo from Henson Associates. Garfield was licensed from United Feature Syndicate, and there was a rumor going for quite a while that Jim Davis himself was not consulted over Garfield’s use in this special, and threatened to sue, and that’s why it stopped airing. But Mark Evanier, who was the head writer for Garfield and Friends, stated that that was not true, and that Jim Davis gave the okay on whatever had to be done in regards to the special. And the reason for the limited run was that was part of the agreement with all the different copyright holders. And I think that explanation makes a lot more sense than Jim Davis threatening to sue this anti-drug show, which was okayed by the copyright holders! Though, I do know that Garfield likes his catnip, so he certainly does not practice what he preaches in this special. Also, another side note here: this isn’t the first crossover Garfield ever appeared in, as the first time he was ever actually animated, was in a 1980 special talking about comics from the time called The Fantastic Funnies. Moving on, the Anti-field, ALF, was from Alien Productions. Go figure. Slimer, of course was from Columbia Pictures, and by 1990, we were well into the “Slimer! and the Real Ghostbusters” version of the show, which is probably why he’s the only Ghostbusters character to appear. Which is a shame, because I think it would’ve been hilarious to have Egon in there, talking about the chemical makeup of some drugs or something. and I know *I* definitely would NOT have wanted Coulier-Venkman in there, and that would’ve been highly inappropriate, what with him being all high on fluffernutters. That would’ve been really weird, too, considering Lorenzo Music is of course voicing Garfield here. So, you know what? I take back what I said. I’d love to have heard what Garfield would’ve said to Coulier-Venkman! Coulier!Venkman: As an actor, I have natural talent. Garfield: We’re in big trouble, Odie. The show is called “Pet Search”, not “Dummy Search”! Phelous: The Chipmunks were from Bagdasarian Productions, and the Smurfs were from Hanna-Barbera. Hey! If Hanna-Barbera was involved, how come they didn’t have any of their other properties in this, like Scooby-Doo? Really though, would that have been any worse than having the surfer dude stoner turtle, Michelangelo? Michelangelo: Your brain must be like REALLY messed up. Phelous: So yeah, TMNT was from Mirage, and– Wait a second, where’s Michelangelo on the cover? They left my favorite Ninja Turtle off the cover? You know what? Screw it. I’m gonna go do some drugs. I don’t believe in nothin’ no more. My best guess for why Ninja Turtles got shafted on the cover was this was probably around the time there was some complaining about some of the violence in TMNT. I don’t know for sure on that, but what I do know is Smurfette is definitely NOT in this special, yet for some reason, she steals the spot on the cover from one of the characters who actually has a bigger moment in it! And of course, our last licensed characters, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, were Warner Brothers. And, of all things, Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue was the first production where these characters were not voiced by Mel Blanc. He had passed away in ’89, so this was the debut of Jeff Bergman as Bugs and Daffy. What a bizarre starting point this is to take over such iconic characters. Speaking of taking over iconic characters, Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue marked only the second time Jim Cummings provided the voice for Tigger. He had only done it for one segment of an episode of The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh before this: “King of the Beasties”. Canadian version of Beast Wars: BEASTIES!!! [swooshing] Phelous: The original voice of Tigger, Paul Winchell, would still voice the character on and off after this, with Jim Cummings eventually taking over the role. And this was only the third project where Jim Cummings was the voice of Pooh, too. Female newsanchor: The latest battle in the War on Drugs is now being waged in Cartoonland. Phelous: PFFFT!! Well, jeez! When you put it that way, it sounds kinda silly! Newsanchor: The show tells the story of a fourteen-year-old drug abuser saved with the help of Bugs Bunny, Garfield, and some other familiar cartoon characters. Phelous: Bugs, Garfield, and the rest, is it? I don’t know if you should be lumping those two together when they famously didn’t get along. Newsanchor: That special has drawn praise from President Bush– Phelous: [laugh] Well, of course it did! Bush Sr. intros the thing! George H. W. Bush: Some of your favorite cartoon characters… will help you understand how drugs and alcohol can ruin your life. So watch the program. Phelous (mildly dopey voice): Well, I wasn’t gonna watch it, but I guess I will to see if the cartoons validate your crazy notion that “drugs are bay-ud!”! George H. W. Bush: Talk about it with your family. Phelous (as child): Wow! That sure was cool seeing all those cartoon characters together! (as father): What’d you think of the anti-drug message, son? (as son): …..The what? (normal): When this first aired in different countries, there were different world leaders from the time introing it for that region. I guess there was a Canadian one with the Prime Minister from back then, Brian Mulroney, though I have no recollection of ever seeing that. I only recall the intro from the Bushes on the VHS. The one other intro I’ve been able to find was the one by Queen Sofía of Spain, who seems to be SUPER-HYPED! Queen Sofía: [speaking Spanish in a dull monotone] Phelous (in an even duller monotone): I guess some cartoons are gonna talk to you about drugs. I can’t imagine this is really gonna help anyone, but whatever, we’ll give it a shot. (normal): Cartoon All-Stars was animated by Wang Film Productions, who was involved with quite a few Disney animated series, and had some experience with some of the other series featured here, like some TMNT ’87, Garfield and Friends, and the “Slimer!” segments from Slimer and the Real Ghostbusters. And for the most part, I think they did a really good job keeping all these characters looking like they just came straight out of their respective shows. There’s some off-model-ness in some areas, but given all the series getting smashed together here, I don’t think that’s all that unreasonable. Especially given the fact they had to make the animation for this in only six weeks, and the turnaround time for animation on a cartoon at this length was usually at least DOUBLE that time. Barbara Bush: Stay away from drugs and alcohol. (as Barbara Bush): Or this dog’s gonna get it! (normal): To start off Cartoon All-Stars, we see one of the main characters, Corey, in a room full of LICENSED PRODUCTS! Though, if she has a real Winnie the Pooh doll, I don’t know why she needs a knockoff one at the foot of her bed. And when she has so many actually GOOD toys, I don’t know why she wants the creepy Poltergeist clown. Anyway, her brother Michael steals her piggy bank. Cuz he likes weed, that means he’s also a thief! Yeah, they might be a little heavy-handed with their message in this, sometimes. this is when a bunch of the characters start coming to life, like the Smurfs from their comic, ALF out of a picture, the Chipmunks from one of their albums, the Kermit clock, and Garfield was a lamp. Wow, so Cartoon All-Stars was the original Toy Story! Papa Smurf: Morning already? I was smurfing like a baby! Phelous: A-ha-ha, gross! Maybe keep that one to yourself, Papa Smurf. Papa Smurf: Great Smurfs! Corey’s piggy bank is gone! Phelous: How does that… work exactly? Is there always a giant hole in the Smurfs’ sky to the real world? And….. what if the comic is closed? Would Papa Smurf see the other panels and possibly HIMSELF in the sky? Probably overthinking this a bit. I kind of wonder, though; do you think eating Smurfs is like taking shrooms? If he was a desperate junkie, that might explain a lot about Gargamel. How come they didn’t have the villains like Gargamel, Shredder, and Dave Seville all toking it up together? ALF: You wanna help track down the thief, Garfield? Garfield: Hey, going through life with a blue lampshade is work enough. Wake me when the lasagna comes. [zap] ALF: Do you wanna help? Or do you want to be LUNCH? Phelous: [laugh] OH MAN! I’m glad they reminded us that ALF’s a cat-eating monster! I dunno, though; in a battle of appetites, I think Garfield might end up eating ALF first. Speaking of, when they have Slimer in this as well, how do they not only never have Garfield interact with him, but also never had them in some kinda eat-off? They’re two bottomless pits! COME ON!! It was right there! Slimer: Oooh, that’s bad news! Lorenzo Music!Venkman: SLIMER!! Theodore: Simon! Let’s help catch the thief! Simon: But where’s Alvin? Simon and Theodore: ALVIIIN!! Alvin: Busyyy! Phelous (as Alvin): I’m watching Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue! (as Simon and Theodore): WHAAAT?!?! [logic-splosion!] Winnie the Pooh: I’m not late for breakfast, am I? Brainy Smurf: Oh, Pooh! We’re trying to wake Corey up! Come on down there, you’re not pushing! [Smurfs grunting] [zoom!] WHOOOA!! YIIIIEE!! [bonk!]
Oh! Phelous: I don’t know how things work over in Smurfland, but here in the real world, we obey the laws of physics!! Pooh sets off the Kermit alarm, and… does Kermit have to, like, peel that clock off his belly and fill his head back in to turn into normal Muppet Baby Kermit? That one seems a bit more complicated than just popping out of a picture or ripping a lamp off your back. [Corey yawning] [swoop] Weren’t you trying to wake her up? Why are you hiding now, you Smurfin’ idiot?? Anyway, Slimer just phases through Corey’s wall. So was Slimer, like, not a toy first? This is the actual ghost Slimer? Janine: Slimer’s run away from home! Lorenzo Music!Venkman: If that’s it, I’m going back to bed. Phelous: So, how come SOME of the characters are toys and stuff coming to life, and others just seem to be the actual cartoon characters randomly showing up? I’m just asking for a little consistency here, guys! ♪ [Ghostbusters theme] ♪ [crunching and slurping]
♪ [Ghostbusters theme] ♪ [gulp, pop]
♪ [Ghostbusters theme] ♪ [Slimer giggling]
♪ [Ghostbusters theme] ♪ [searchlight switches on]
♪ [Ghostbusters theme] ♪ You know, even as a kid, I always wondered why Slimer eating that lamp made its light shoot out of his teeth. Corey: My bank! Someone took my bank! Phelous (sarcastically): Oh, yeah, that’s clearly the most shocking thing going on in this room right now. Who cares about the Class 5 Full Roaming Vapor eating your appliances? [ceramic breaks]
[toons gasp] Garfield: Two sounds you can’t miss: a breaking piggy, and the sizzle of hot lasagna. Phelous: Heh! So Garfield’s got the munchies. This is a great stoner movie! ’80s commercial: ♪ Now when you least expect it, and you get the Munchies ♪ ♪ Nothing else will do! ♪
Hostess Potato Chips! [crunch] Phelous: But I don’t know. I think the thing to really hit the spot if you’ve got the munchies is the stoner-themed candy bar Oh Henry! 4:25! So Garfield is roughly the same size as Alvin, Simon, and Theodore? I’ve never seen cat-sized chipmunks before. Y’know, despite this apparently taking place in the real world, (obviously sarcastic): I’m beginning to think that this isn’t very realistic. Simon: I don’t like the looks of this. Phelous: Neither do I. That Bugs and… Daffy??… poster looks horrible. Garfield: Neither do I. No food in sight. Phelous: Eh, Garfield’s was better. What is that cow-cat poster about? Man, that Michael really does love his drugs. [coins clinking]
Michael: Alright! There must be 20 bucks in here, easy! Phelous (as Michael): I’m so high, I apparently don’t remember how much quarters are worth! Theodore: I can’t believe it! Digby (from Dog House): Believe it. Phelous: Corey comes in and catches Michael red-handed stealing her money, but apparently doesn’t get it back? Theodore: Wwwhat’s all this for? ALF: Toto, something tells me we’re not in cartoon territory anymore. Phelous: Yeah, ALF likes to keep his alcohol and drug use to his live-action series. Kate Tanner: I said no soda pop. Brian Tanner: It’s not soda pop, it’s beer. ALF: [belch] You’re about outta Coors. [laugh track]
Kate: WHAT?! Phelous: See, ALF like getting the kids into drinking while they’re young. Michael’s too old for this stuff, now. Theodore: Wwwhat’s that funny smell? Simon: Marijuana. An unlawful substance– Phelous: It’s not unlawful here [in Canada] anymore! Take THAT, Simon! 420 blaze it, et cetera, et cetera! Simon: –used to experience artificial highs. Phelous: Sssooo what are you suggesting then, Simon? That all the kids become thrill junkies, so they can get NATURAL highs, instead? In most cases, that’s probably gonna result in more fatalities than marijuana, Simon. Just sayin’. Aw, man! Sylvester and Road Runner got to be in this special, too! Wonder why no one ever mentions their horribly-drawn background cameo? Corey: What’s wrong with your eyes? Michael: Nothin’. Phelous: Shouldn’t he have still noticed that it was GARFIELD wearing his shades? Though apparently, with sunglasses, Garfield can pass as Jon, so nevermind! He’s a regular Superfield! ALF: That kid’s got a one-way ticket to Nowheresville. Alvin: Michael needs our help! Slimer: Then let’s help him! Phelous (unimpressed): That’s a great idea, Slimer. You know what? Why don’t you go back to eating your dreams? [chomp] [toons chattering] ♪ [triumphant music] ♪ Janine: What a bunch of bozos. Pooh: Good luck! Phelous: Pooh wasn’t invested enough in Michael to bother leaving the house, I guess. Michael’s druggie friend: Where’d you get the money for this stuff, Michael? Phelous: Smoking up in the arcade? Guess these guys didn’t play enough Narc. [exhaling] Smoke: Yeah, that’s it. Do it. Phelous: So this is….. [multiple dramatic stings] Shao Kahn (from Mortal Komedy): Smoke. Mortal Komedy’s Smoke: [laughing] Shut up! Phelous: Weird thing about this character, though: they never drop his name in the actual movie, but it’s on the back of the VHS box. Smoke was voiced by ol’ Patton himself, George C. Scott, making this one of only a couple times he did voice work like this. And I will say they did at least create a pretty memorable villain in this guy, even if he’s about as subtle as a lot of this special, being made out of weed smoke. Speaking of subtle: Pusher: This stuff’s pretty good, but I got something even better. Phelous: Cuz if you like smoking weed, you’ll definitely up it to crack just for the hell of it! But I dunno, I’m just waiting for this girl to slice Michael in half with her hat. Since they’re at the arcade though, this was really a missed opportunity to have Scorpion show up, and tell them how drugs ruined his life worse than his family getting murdered! Though Mortal Kombat came out two years after this, so we missed out on that one. Otherwise, they DEFINITELY would’ve included Mortal Kombat! Especially if Ninja Turtles was too extreme to make the cover. Smoke: Try it, try it! You want them to like ya! [sirens blaring] Cops! Beat it! Phelous: Aw, darn. Michael got chased off before he could play my favorite arcade game: “Arcade”! That’s where you play the game with someone at the arcade playing arcade games! There are always weird little things about this special that stuck with me, like these few times when Smoke’s face would briefly turn into a skull. I don’t really know why, either. Probably just because I saw this thing a few too many times as a kid. Which is why I turned out so well-adjusted today! Anyway, I need a drink, like my hero, ALF. Michael: Wait! Smoke: Sorry, pal. At times like this, you’re on your own. Phelous: Cuz drugs don’t help you with the police! I guess that makes sense… ♪ [super-tense music] ♪ Michael: I’ll never do it again! Bugs Bunny: Ehh, what’s up, Doc? Smoke: You were running from a rabbit? He’s a cartoon! Bugs: Look who’s talkin’! Phelous: So, Smoke is a cartoon, too… is EVERYONE a cartoon?? I mean, yeah, I know they ARE all cartoons, but if this was like live-action, would it be like Roger Rabbit? Man, this movie messes with me worse than drugs! Bugs: What’s this? A joint? Phelous: Oh, don’t get so judgy, Bugs. You can’t tell me that you weren’t on anything back in your early days. Bugs’ prototype (from Porky’s Hare Hunt): [laughing wildly and crazily] Phelous: And really, why else would you keep making the same directional mistake when traveling? Bugs: I knew I shoulda taken that left turn at Albuquerque! Michael: A time machine?! Bugs: I borrowed it from some coyote. That coyote in question: Wile E. Coyote: Super-genius. Michael’s dad: That’s funny, there’s a couple of beers missing. Michael’s mom: Oh, honey, you probably drank ’em watching football last night. Phelous (as dad): Oh, yeah. Guess I am always getting super-wasted and forgetting how much I drank while watching sports. I’m a terrible influence! Huh-HAH! Mom: Corey, is your brother alright? And if there’s something wrong, we’d like to help. Corey: I don’t think so. Phelous (as Corey): I mean, besides him robbing me! (normal): You know siblings, they never TELL on each other! Pooh: Why didn’t you tell her? Corey: Pooh! You can talk?? Phelous: Yeah, it’s late enough in the movie NOW that we aren’t gonna hide that! For… whatever reason we were in the first place. Even though there’s no way she could’ve missed Slimer earlier. Anyway, Bugs turns into the Toon of Michael Past. Bugs: It’s like the old saying: if everyone was jumping off a cliff, would you go too? Hmmm, I guess you would, wouldn’t ya? Phelous: Man, Bugs Bunny is always pretty extreme when he Christmas Carols people. Though at least he didn’t threaten to send Michael to Hell. Bugs: I am taking you to see the man in the red suit. Yosemite Sam: You mean Santy Claus? Bugs: No. I mean the OTHER guy in the red suit. Phelous: One issue I have with some sections of this movie like this is: there’s no crossover element going on. Like, why couldn’t Slimer have come along for the time-travel? Seeing Bugs Bunny interact with Slimer would’ve been kinda interesting. Man, I must be getting desperate if I’m wishing for more Slimer. But Slimer’s just M.I.A. through the rest of the movie besides the very end. I guess when he said “let’s go help Michael”, he meant “the rest of you go help while I go home and eat a werechicken egg or something”. Corey: I’m worried about Michael. He’s been acting really weird. Dad: Corey, being weird is just part of being a teenager. Phelous (as dad): I’m useless, Corey! Time to go get wasted while watching sports! HUH-HUH! Black hat girl: For 10 bucks, I could score us some crack! Smoke: Oh yeah! CRACK! Phelous: I love that as they are doing drugs, all they think about is doing more drugs. And what do Michael’s friends think of the smoke monster that’s following them around now? Everyone is just… cool with it? Guess they’re all just on a mellow high and not a freakout high. Anyway, Kung Lao’s daughter steals Michael’s wallet with aid from the sentient cloud of marijuana smoke. It’s a little weird when you put it that way. The part I really remember anticipating as a kid happens when Michelangelo lets Michael fall down a manhole, because there can only be one Mikey! Michelangelo: Cowabunga, dude! How did you ever get so totally cool? Phelous: That’s some pretty sassy sarcasm there, Mikey. Are you sure you’re not Raph? Baxter Stockman: I’ll never talk! Raphael: You’d better, or else I’m gonna get….. sarcastic! Phelous: I’d be really worried about that radioactive pink and orange sewage you’re in, there, guys. Probably a bit more of a pressing issue than the drugs. Michelangelo: Drugs, bud. Your brain must be like REALLY messed up. Open-mouthed Smoke: Drugs don’t do anything to your brain, they just make you feel good. Right, Mikey? Phelous (with zero lip movement, too): Smoke decided to become a ventriloquist for that line? Michelangelo: Better see for yourself. Negaduck: Look out!! It’s the Universal Plug! If you pull it, we’ll be SUCKED INTO OBLIVION!! [pop] [technicolor goop swirling down] Michael: Wh– WHAAAA!! AAAAHH!! Darkwing Duck: Well, time to go! Phelous: After Michelangelo pulls the plug on his segment, it’s time for the Muppet Babies one, with drugs being represented as a roller coaster. Baby Kermit: Drugs can take you up and make you feel okay for a while, but for every up, there’s a down! And the bigger the up, THE STEEPER THE DOWN!! Phelous: I don’t know if a ride that’s supposed to be fun is really a good analogy if you’re trying to make drugs look BAD, Kermit. Michael: What’s happening? Baby Kermit: Drugs. Baby Kermit (as Baby Gonzo?): This is what they do to your brain, Michael. Baby Gonzo: Actually– Phelous: OOOH! Kermit just got ACTUALLY’ed! And Gonzo can turn himself into a lightning bolt to get onto the roller coaster?? What, is he Raiden now? Raiden: You… are useless. Michael: We’re inside me? This is what’s happening inside me?! Phelous: Well, that’s true. I do hate how drugs tend to trap you inside your own head behind your eye. Sega Saturn Commercial: Welcome to the Theater of The Eye. Phelous: Michael, again, probably has some bigger issues to work out if when he’s smoking, the smoke goes right behind his eye socket. One of the Duck triplets: Are you okay? Michael: Huh?? Now I’m seeing ducks?! Oh, man. I gotta get off of these drugs. Phelous: Jeez, I guess Michael’s not a big Ducktales fan. Huey: Let’s show him…
Dewey: How to say…
Louie: No! Phelous: This is a spot that’s always bugged me even as a kid, with the repeated “moving out from the eye” animation. Probably happened, though, due to the rush on the animators. Louie: ♪ There’s a million wild and wonderful ways to say no! ♪ Phelous: NNNOOOOOOOO. I had to, right? Garfield: ♪ Now you could say “beat it, get lost, get out of my face with that stuff” ♪ ALF: ♪ But that could be tactless ♪ ♪ You may prefer cool ♪
Like this! Michelangelo: ♪ I’ve got too much homework! It’s rough ♪ Phelous: Too much homework is COOL?? Well, maybe for the Homework Squad. The “Wonderful Ways to Say No” song is more catchy than it probably has any right to be, and that’s because Howard Ashman and Alan Menken, who did songs for Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and Little Mermaid, were behind it. Including the sadder version of this song during the credits. Tigger: ♪ You’ll even outgrow us, one day ♪ Pooh: ♪ Forget that you’ll know us, you may ♪ Baby Miss Piggy: ♪ But promise you’ll keep what we say in the back of you miiiiind! ♪ Phelous: Yes, I’ll never forget that there’s a million wonderful ways to say “hi-yah”. Cartoon All-Stars: ♪ There’s a million, jillion wonderful ways to say… ♪ Baby Miss Piggy: HI-YAAAAH!!! [fourth wall literally breaks] Chipmunks: ♪ –say no! ♪ Pooh: ACHOO! Guess I’m allergic. Phelous: POOH?!?! I thought you stayed at home with Corey!! This is a continuity nightmare!! And everything was perfect before this. Baby Kermit: ♪ When your pals say, “Let’s get wrecked!” ♪ Phelous: ♪ There’s a million wonderful ways to get drunk! ♪ I-I mean ♪ get high! ♪ I-I mean ♪ say no! ♪ Anyway, Michael’s now teleported home because….. drugs, or something. Corey: Pooh Bear wants to know why you don’t talk to Mom and Dad. Michael: Tell Pooh Bear to mind his own business! Pooh Bear: Oh, bother. Phelous: Wait, what happened to Bugs? What is that blue thing? Why do I keep noticing the messed-up Looney Tunes poster?? After an altercation with his sister, Michael starts questioning his loyalty to drugs and a smoke ghost, but the Cartoon of Drugs Future, ALF, is here to show him that drugs are like a funhouse mirror attraction. Forget drugs, FAIRS are the REAL problem! Michael: Who’s that? ALF: Well, it’s not Freddy Krueger. Bootleg Freddy doll: That’s right, it’s Nightmare Feddy! AH-HAHAHAHAHA!! I love loafers. Phelous: So drugs are gonna turn him into a zombie? I’m guessing he’s supposed to look like a heroin addict, which I guess is close enough to the living dead. ALF then shows Michael who’s really in charge of his life, which is a poorly drawn Smoke. Ray Stantz: Aim for the flat top! [zap!] Phelous: He puffs back on model after a few frames, But this was another one of those things I always wondered about back when. Now, I’m pretty sure it’s just some of the rough sketches accidentally got used as the final animation for those few frames due to the rush. Corey: What IS all this stuff? Smoke: Why don’t you see for yourself? Phelous: Oh, that’s HORRIBLE getting them into drugs THAT young, Smoke! Leave that to ALF! Again, we get some more anti-fair propaganda, and Dewey has apparently grown tired of Michael and his anti-duck ways, so he just tries to plow him down. This whole sequence becomes very surreal, like a harsh drug trip. Which I suppose is fair enough in this case. I always liked this part, though, where Tigger and Miss Piggy just float by and throw Michael an inflatable raft. I mean, what do you think those two talk about together? Y’know, it’s almost like I focused on all the things that weren’t the drug message. Daffy Duck finally shows up to say that he’s in this too, and to be a fortune teller! Because… that’s something he does?? Anyway, he lets Michael know that he’s gonna turn into a zombie. Didn’t ALF already do that? Shao Kahn: Smoke wins. Fatality. Michael: This is my future?!?! Soundbite from Mel Blanc’s Daffy: You’re despicable. Michael: HOW DO I GET OUTTA HERE?!?! [searchlight switches on] [door opens] Nooo!! Phelous: [gasp!] This was the night HE came home!! (as Corey): Michael, did you just come from a magic drug dimension? (normal): So Michael swears off the drugs and throws Smoke into the garbage. Pooh: Oh! Thank goodness! I thought I was going to miss something important. Phelous: But Pooh was Corey’s stuffed animal. Did she just lose her toy because he became part of a poster? Guess that’s true for some of the others too, but at least Michelangelo actually got to be part of this one. Also, this poster is SLIGHTLY better than… whatever this was. Michael: C’mon, sis, let’s go talk to Mom and Dad. (as useless dad): Drugs? Why, that’s just part of being a teenager! You want to shoot up and watch the game with me, Michael? HUH-HAH! (normal): There’s some good intentions at least with Cartoon All-Stars, But they do get a bit ham-fisted with the message at times. I can certainly say it’s the one anti-drug PSA that’s really stuck with me. Though the message was probably the thing I thought about the LEAST in regards to it. And I remember joking with friends about some of the logic, like “if we did drugs, did that mean we get to meet our favorite cartoon characters?” I mean, even if they’re there to call us dopes, that’d be a decent trade-off to get to meet them! Hmmm. Maybe there was something to that. I mean, I want to get to talk to cartoons! Time to drug it up! Wabuu: ♪ Zooby-dooby-doo, I am the Wabuu ♪ ♪ and I don’t have any drugs ♪ fooor yooooou. Old Man: There’s a million wonderful ways to say HEEEEEEEEEEE doesn’t need to be a fool on drugs! Bevanfield’s Aladdin: Really, Phelous, you should think of an alternative to drugs. Oro: According to my SCIIIENCE, what really caused the dinosaurs to go extinct was our YEE drugs! King (from Lion and the King): Drugs?! MAH GOD!! They are not done! [hypocritically drags on joint] Noooooooooooooooooo. Red Bear/Offended Bear: I am offended at the mere thought of you using drugs! From now on, my name is Anti-Drug Bay-uh! Monsieur Rodent: If you use drugs, you’ll end up looking like me! “Gentleman” (from GoodTimes’ Cinderella): I don’t care if you use drugs or not! Phelous: Uugghhh, could I at least get someone not from Dingo, GoodTimes, or Bevanfield? Cricket off the Hearth: Oh, you most certainly can, old chap! Cricket Crockett may do a lot of horrible things, but drugs aren’t one of them! Noel: I have a happiness!! Which has nothing to do with being SUPER-HIGH!! Just human tears! I love ’em! GoodTimes’ Beast: You’re never lonely when you have drugs. Old Man: We’re telling him NOT to do drugs, you idiot! Quasimodo (from Secret of the Hunchback): Drugs have improved the quality of my life! Vink (from GoodTimes’ Little Mermaid): I’m the Official Royal Drug Pusher! Snowden (from Magic Gift of the Snowman): Ol’ Snowden’s got the cure for what ails ya: drugs! Clint Howard as Tug from Rapsittie Street Kids: Wow! You guys gotta try this! GoodTimes’ Genie: Oookaaaaay….. Paige (from Aladdin and the Adventure of All Time): Aladdin! Do something! Bevanfield’s Aladdin: Who? Me? You probably should think of an alternative. Paige: Ugghh! Wrong Aladdin! Right Aladdin: I think we just got here in time to change history for the worst, Paige! With lots of drug abuse!! Old Man: You guys are terrible at this!! Wabuu: Most of these cameos are SOOOOO stupid! Phelous: [heavy sigh] Of COURSE these are the cartoons I get. OF COURSE! Old Man: I suppose then that drugs are completely useless now! Wabuu: OHHH!! He SAID it!! MK’s Smoke: 𝙳𝚁𝚄𝙶𝚂 𝚂𝚄𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙾𝚁. 𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙰𝙸𝙶𝙷𝚃 𝙴𝙳𝙶𝙴 𝙸𝙽𝙵𝙴𝚁𝙸𝙾𝚁. Phelous: [another sigh] Shut up, Smoke. ♪ [“Oh Phelous (80s Style)” by Le Sad Panda] ♪ ♪ I don’t like this movie,
it doesn’t look too friendly ♪ ♪ This bootleg is so fake,
that toy is gonna break ♪ ♪ Phelous, don’t let me down,
you need to be around ♪ ♪ Grab that chocolate pizza,
and leave a like, because I want one ♪ ♪ Phelous, oh Phelous,
bring on Mortal Komedy ♪ ♪ Phelous, oh Phelous,
and animation movies ♪ ♪ Phelous, oh Phelous,
Wabuu really is so fun ♪ ♪ Phelous, oh Phelous,
what’s your opinion about? ♪♪ Wow. Ten years of making reviews. Seriously, thanks so much for sticking with me, everyone. Anyway, the show’s cancelled. Not really.

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  1. So I went back to the piggy bank scene where Michael said "There must be $20 in here" and actually counted all the coins there. If we assume that every coin on the screen is a quarter, then Corey only has about $7 in that piggy bank. That would probably buy a gram of weed. If he's lucky.

  2. The 80s were ridiculous. I love how they thought teaching kids to stay away from drugs by making nonsensical, noneducational crap would work. It's especially painful to watch this now with the better knowledge we have.

  3. If we had Scooby doo in this he Shaggy and Michelangelo would have been eating 20 pizzas covered in Scooby snacks by the end.

  4. I hate to admit it, but I loved this movie as a kid. I used to rent it from the video store all the time (kids, ask your parents what a video store was).

  5. I'm actually honored that you used my capture for this special (seeing as it's as HQ as the special can get on YouTube).

    Also, Jeff Bergman voiced Bugs and Daffy for a Warner Bros catalog ad placed on the VHS preview reel of Batman (the 1989 Tim Burton movie) before this special had aired.

  6. I heard a rumor going around that Mel Blanc did a few recordings for this special before passing away, and so Jeff Bergman filled in.

  7. In my school there are a bunch of anti-smoking posters in the health classroom. The most convincing one among them all is the one that says it costs $15 a day. Sometimes simple facts are better.

  8. Where did you find the news segment clip about this? I cant find any supplementary videos like promos and News Segments about this

  9. 8:59 – 9:11

    Yeah, that was my reaction after seeing this when I was three.

    Except I also begged my parents to quit using drugs or it would ruin their lives like the kid in the special, when all they did was smoke. I couldn't tell the difference between weed and crack from regular cigarettes, and the special didn't help in distinguishing them.

  10. Scorpion comes out of the Arcade machine and fatalities Michael's weed. "Get over here Michael! I need to tell you why drugs are bad!"

  11. Who was the target audience of this movie? I can't really imagine kids in elementary school doing drugs (at least of their own volition), and if you're older than that, it's highly unlikely that a bunch of kid's cartoons would convince you to stop.

  12. 2:48–2:53 dang he hates humans that much just because we're hunting them were trying to survive to you know.

  13. Disney could do something similar now with their cartoon stars, Marvel superheroes, Star Wars droids and/or Ewoks, and the Muppets.

  14. 33:29
    the completly useless guy:
    i suppose then that drugs are completly useless now!
    ooooooooh heeeeee saaiiiiiiid iiiiiiiiiiiit.

  15. can you actually call getting high on cannabis a 'artivisual high' when you get it from a organic product? i'm sorry, I got high last night so i'm still on that 24 hours afterbuzz

  16. Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue
    Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue: Age of Ultron
    Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue: Infinity War
    Cartoon All Stars to the Rescue: Endgame

  17. Hey Phelous! always love your reviews! I just wanted to mention that there could be similar issues as in Roger Rabbit where certain characters were licensed to show up for an exact amount of time or "not to appear less" than another character or were actually obligated to be given screen time on their own and the segments where they were on their own was the specials way of fulfilling that. I can understand being disappointed by that and generally agree, but there may actually be a reason certain characters disappear or only pop up in certain scenes.

  18. I knew it I knew that was the same boy this is one of the characters from ghostbuster stop playing Garfield I knew it

  19. I hope they make the remake and add new characters like Otis from Barnyard, Yoshi, Kamek and Baby Bowser from yoshi series, Jenny Wakeman from My life as a Teenage Robot, Oggy and the Cockroaches, Limeoceros from Viva Piñata, Flower, Ice Cube, Book, Blocky, Firey, Leafy, Pen and Snowball from BFB, Mutt from Litil Divil, Sid from Ice Age, King Louie from The Jungle Book, Smurfette (altough she appears on the cover but not the film), Robot Jones and you guys the old cartoons Fanboy and Chum Chum, Red from Angry Birds, Zig and Sharko, The Minions and the Rabbids. That's a lot of characters names in my comment jeez.

  20. Where did you find such a good quality cut of the cartoon? With good resolution and sound? PLEASE!

  21. I think the reason why Pooh initially decided to stay behind was because he wanted to make sure that Corrie was okay. Even though he’s a bear of very little brain, Pooh is meant to be a source of comfort and company for children like how he is for Christopher Robin, while also sharing his own naive wisdom in a way that kids can understand.

  22. This is the funniest of your videos I've seen yet, I remember this stupid video, they made us watch it for like 5 years in a row in grade school

  23. Peter Venkman from Ghostbusters should have been in this special! I mean the voice actor for Garfield was already there lol

  24. man, George C Scott was rather busy in 1990. not only was he in this, but also in the same exact year, he was in The Rescuers Down Under, Descending Angel, and The Exorcist III.

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